ARTICLE

Nadir

I still remember a morning in London when I received one of the surprises of my life. The front page of the sedate "Manchester Guardian" carried a most uncharacter- istic headline: "Fighter Pilot Changes Sex". This was the story of Roberta Cowell. In the following weeks Pic- ture Post serialized Robert's story and I was one of many who increased that paper's circulation. I had been a TV for about twenty years, but only mentally for some time due to lack of privacy. I had even gotten used to it but, as so many girls must have discovered, it takes only one stimulus to awaken all the old desires and find that they have become stronger, as a result of their supression. My reading widened to give the more sensational papers a more than customary glance. I discovered that I was not the only TV and that these papers seemed to have a special venom reserved for us.

I had to continue the supression for a few more years, but I began to search newspapers, magazines and books for all the information that I could find. In time I had my own rooms and the dam burst. I was in charge of a large household and had been staying alone in it during a holiday period. Just before we reopened for business, one of the staff returned and being afraid of sleeping alone in the girl's quarters, which were in a separate building, took the room next to mine until the other girls returned. One evening when she was out, curiosity proved my undoing I had to see her clothes. Of course, a dressing session followed. I had a fright at one point trying to get out of a dress with a back zip. It was my first acquaintance with the peculiarities of nylon zips. But I just couldn't believe it, when it repaired so easily. There was a reaction of guilt, of course. Not only the usual guilt which we have all felt but also a realization that this was not the way for the boss to treat staff. I had to acquire my own wardrobe. I began by buying a blouse, skirt, slip, panties, and greatly daring (and scared) a bra and girdle. This was to be enough. I was going to indulge once in a while and, after all, the things had to be kept in a suitcase. It was about four years